Buyer’s Remorse: The feeling of regret after a purchase. It is frequently associated with the purchase of higher value items such as a car or house. It may stem from a sense of not wishing to be wrong, of guilt over extravagance, or from feeling that one has been persuaded by a salesman. (Wikipedia)
When Mike and I bought the farm last year, we suffered from weeks of anxiety, accompanied by frequent bouts of sheer panic, followed by so many thoughts and reactions like:
Oh God, what have we done?
We don’t know the first thing about running a farm.
The horses will surely die under our care.
Let’s Google “rattlesnakes.”
We’re gonna go broke fixing up this dump.
Do you think there are wild boars out here?
Mike, wake up! What’s that noise??
Today, we still suffer from a little heartburn. And whenever something goes wrong, which happens a lot, Mike and I usually scowl at each other like it’s the other one’s fault.
But then a day like today comes along, when the sun lights up the pastures where horses graze peacefully, when bluebirds fly casually by and crows caw loudly overhead, when Adrian and his friends run barefoot all around, talking a-mile-a-minute, happily arguing over what to do next—play Xbox LIVE, swim, hit the creek, or take target practice with Airsoft artillery—when Mike’s off working quietly away on one project or another, when the dogs lie snoozing under rays of sunshine, and here I sit drinking coffee on the deck, gazing out at the land, reading and writing this note—somehow knowing that all will be well. That all the worry and frustration and fear matter nothing in the face of such happiness in this glorious place.