Me: My birthday’s July 7, ya know.
Mike: The farm is your birthday present.
Me: Let’s take the kids to the mountains for Thanksgiving. Or maybe Hawaii.
Mike: Nope, we’re going to the farm. That won’t cost anything.
Me: Do you want my Christmas wish list?
Mike: The farm is your Christmas present.
Me: Where are we going for spring break?
Me: Where should we rent a beach house this summer? We need to book it now so we can get a good house.
Mike: We can’t afford it.
Me: Honey, our 24th anniversary is coming up [April 5]. Can you believe it? We’ve been together for 24 YEARS! Let’s go to Europe.
Mike: Are you kidding me? Have you seen our bills?
Me: So, Mother’s Day is….
Mike (interrupting): Sorry, no can do.